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Thursday, 9 May 2013

Me, the man eater

I’ve tried to call one of my best friends yesterday but he didn’t answer my call or reply to my text. I found it quite odd until now when he called me (but my phone was on silent as usual so I didn’t picked up) so he left a voice message. This is the funniest voicemail I’ve ever had so far:

Wife: Are you calling Bernie?

Friend: Yep.

Wife: Why do call her, I told you not to.

Friend: Sorry, but she’s my friend for thirteen years and I would like to talk to her and you doesn’t even know her so what’s wrong with that?

Wife (shouting): Here we go…she is more important than me; you can’t do that to me. Yes I just looked at her pictures she’s a typical bitch, and look at you the way as you talk about her.


Friend (raising voice): I love you what’s wrong with you she’s just my friend?? She’s not a bitch, so don’t talk about her on that way.

Wife: You see…this is what I’ talking about, you defend yourself “she is just my friend”. So you don’t see she look good, she’s just a friend…sure, you are a piece of shit.

Friend (shouting): Don’t fucking talk to me like that, I did nothing wrong am I not allowed to talk to friend or what???

Wife (shouting and crying): You are ridiculous, she’s married she doesn’t want you doesn’t matter how hard you try..

Friend (shouting) :Shut a fuck up she is my FRIEND, and we want nothing from each other.

Women (crying and shouting): Fuck you, you asshole…you are a fucking loser.

This is the end of the voicemail.

I will never understand jealous women. They have a husband that means the guy made a commitment some time ago and they are still together, they may have kids, and yes they have ups and downs but they are together for the right reason because they love each other. Sometimes not, but it’s their problem and there is nothing to do with a third person. These people can’t trust. I find this story hilarious, especially when she said I’m a “typical bitch” (we haven’t met yet) as nothing more flattering than being hated by a jealous women. Its’ not the first and not the last time when a women think I am a threat to their husband’s, but if someone’s know me a little bit they would know that I’m not a man eater so there is no need to lock your husband’s up. I will never understand where they get this idea from as I’m not flirting, not sending saucy messages/pictures, and I try so hard to ignore other women husbands as I know these women are psycho’s therefore they need understanding and mental care.

I feel sorry for their husbands/boyfriends it must be hard to put up with their rants on a daily basis. These women are jealous because they have a very low self-confidence and they can’t see how beautiful they are. Many of them seeing their own husband as the “sexiest man alive” therefore they can’t imagine that someone doesn’t find their husbands attractive. If you point this out to them they will try to convince you about how sexy their husbands are, but if you give a nice comment like “you look good”, you are a freak bitch and they want to kill you. You can’t win so the best you can do is ignore the guy, ignore the women and focus on other things like curtains, ceilings and so on. These people need help.

When I feel on a women that she’s extremely jealous I try to be very nice to her and giving her as many compliments as I can. Doesn’t matter if it’s not true, the point is she will stop seeing you as an enemy, and that’s the goal. However some of them are still stay jealous despite I tried so hard and at that point I always feel the resist to annoy her and start flirting (which I normally don’t do) with her husband.

I feel sorry for my friend, he’s a lovey guy and he deserves better, in fact no one deserves a jealous psychopath. Good luck boys:-)

Horrible me, I’m sure I will end up in hell.



Wednesday, 1 May 2013

3 words and it's not "Ilove you"

                                              3 word’s and it’s not “I love you”

I believe in what goes around comes around therefore whatever you do and did in the past it will come back at you in a matter of time. I think it’s incredible and that’s the reason why we shouldn’t carry hate, anger or revenge because the Universe will take care of it. You can’t cheat Karma, but you can change your destiny.

Some people believe that destiny is inevitable but from my prospective destiny is just a very romantic thing which we really want it to happen despite we know it’s absolutely wrong. I love when some people says “she’s my destiny” regardless she’s a slapper, goldigger who bought nothing else but misery in to his life. For him the easiest thing to say it’s destiny, but in reality it’s just his lazy choice not to try to live in a happy relationship with some else. You can always use “destiny” as a great excuse for your bad relationship’s, unemployment, financial struggle’s because playing the destiny card sounds much more better than the less romantic, but more honest “I fucked up”.

I think no such thing as destiny as we all have choice. You can decide what you want from your life in every aspect; you can choose your destiny if you like.

Fate is a different thing; I believe that we all have stories in our life which was “written” but again I would love to believe we have at least a one per cent chance to cheat the fate. I have a slight idea about what is my fate and I know that whatever I try to do, how much I try to ignore it’s must happen. I’m the only one who can make it happen, but I feel forced and pushed by the Universe. It’s like you are a talented painter but you have no intention to paint for one reason or another and instead of painting you try to get a job as PR- manager. If your fate is being a painter you will never be PR manager, or of so you will always feel something is missing.

For me the word “fate” and “destiny” carries a negative meaning, it does suggest that it’s not happen by my choice but it has have to happen even if you don’t want it. It’s the same with relationship. I would like to think that I choose and I decide who I let in to my life, who can stay and who must go. The reality is there are some people out there who always will be in my life whether I want it or not and it’s something what I can’t change. What I can change is the nature of the relationship with them, e.g.: I wrote about shitbirds recently (I still hope they not going to stay in my life forever) but instead of being angry with them I rather try transform my relationship with them in to a friendship.

…and sometimes you call people back to your life because you miss them regardless what’s happened in the past, and with that action you create your own destiny. Some people are like drugs and you know that you don’t need them, you shouldn’t even be around them but you just simply can’t let them go. It’s not destiny, its addiction and it’s a completely different thing.

Walking in your memory will take you the nearest place where you’ve been happy once but you can’t live like that as it’s escapism from reality. The only way to rule your destiny is if you don’t let desires and addictions ruling your life. You must be stronger than your desires. Turn off your false high beams.

I believed in destiny until I’ve realised it can ruin my life so I had to force myself to change the Status Quo and it was one of the hardest thing to do. Strange, but if something or someone is not for you doesn’t matter how hard you try he/she will never be yours so the best thing to do is giving up and accept that the universe knows better than you. It’s hard, but you can live with it and years and years later you will understand why these things happened. You will receive the missing puzzle and suddenly everything going to be crystal clear and you will feel nothing but harmony.

In other cases some people are like magnets and they may not be in your life on a daily basis, but they always will be there for you regardless how many years you didn’t met and talked to them. These people attract each other therefore they will always find each other. They may let each other go in the past because they met in a wrong place and wrong time, but that doesn’t mean they forgot each other.  They are not your friends and will never be so it’s a strange form of love.  It may sound odd but that’s how it works.